I love to write

I love to write. Sometimes I take part of a truth, and turn it into a story, sometimes I take things that happened in my own life, and put it into words as a healing exercise. I love to write, but I am so self conscious about it! This is a story I wrote today. Not for any particular reason. Just because.

He stood in the corner sipping cheap beer out of a red party cup. Jealousy burned in his eyes as he watched the girl of his dreams from across the room.

She danced as if she didn’t have a care in the world. And maybe she didn’t. Why would she? She was a beautiful co ed with her life together.

How can I hurt her? He wondered as he tried to drown his anger with the burning alcohol. He watched talk and laugh with the boy that she danced with, and he couldn’t swallow his anger any longer.

He could dance with another girl, but she wouldn’t care. He could leave the party, but she wouldn’t give his absence a second thought. He had introduced her to this lifestyle, to the feeling of freedom, and she had soared, leaving him on the sidelines.

He took one last look, shook his head with distain, turned on his heels, pushed through the crowd of party-goers, and left.

She noticed when he left. She saw the look in his eyes, but she only felt relief that he was gone. She had tried over and over to make the relationship work, but his constant flow of angry words was too much for her. Now, she hoped it was over, she hoped he was gone for good.

He drove home that night, seething. He was so enraged it’s a miracle that he even made it home. His eyes were so clouded with spite that the road blurred in front of him. When he got home, he stormed into the house and immediately sat at the computer. The words of hate, fueled by resentment, that had filled his mind on the long car ride home, spilled through his fingertips onto the keys of his laptop.

Look what you’ve become! An independent woman.
I hope you are happy. She was.
You are trashy on the inside and out. An untruth he wrote, that he hoped would sting.

On and on he went, for hours he searched for the most biting words, knowing that when she read it she would be repentant, and return to him . And then he waited. He waited for her response. The response that would never come.

She saw the message from him in her inbox. She nervously clicked on it, afraid of what she would find. As she read it, tears welled in her eyes as she began to feel the pain of his distasteful words.

Suddenly, a feeling overcame her. Through her tears, she decided he would not control her anymore. She would not succumb to his terrible words. He was a coward, a coward who used his words to hurt her. He hurt her on purpose, and she was done. His hold on her was gone.

She hit delete. She hit delete and never looked back.

My Poor Neglected Blog

I have seriously neglected blogging for awhile. Partially because I've been really busy, partially because I feel like I don't really have anything significant to say.

I am going to make an effort to start blogging again, although we are moving in 19 days, to the "perfect" apartment, so we're fairly busy!

I am also excited to announce that my beautiful niece, Hannah Jayde Lapp, was born this past Friday, the 22nd, at 2:00 pm. Becca did a wonderful job! I was so blessed to be able to meet little Hannah only a few minutes after she was born. :) We love her so much already!

Apartment Update

Well, I think we have found "the one". When Kevin and I talk about our "dream" apartment/home I have always said I want a dishwasher and a laundry room. Kevin always wanted bar style seating in the kitchen, and a deck. One thing we've always thought was neat was windows that went to the floor, and a really open layout. Of course, we knew we were dreaming, and would never find that. Some places we found part of it. A little porch, a spot for a washer and dryer in a closet. And most places in our price range have none of these things. All three of the apartments we have lived at since we have been married have none of these things. We have never had a dishwasher (that's why God gave me hands) or a washer and dryer. (I have come to accept laundromats as a part of my life) And all of our "porches" have been rather sad.

We have been praying about and looking for apartments for a few months. All of them would have included lots of compromises. But we were willing to give up a lot of things we "want" in order for Kevin to have a shorter commute to work.

Friends, tonight we hit the jackpot!!! We found our DREAM apartment. And we can afford it! Can you imagine????

It has an open floor plan. It has bar seating. It has windows to the floor. It has a DISHWASHER!!! It has a REAL laundry room!!! And it has a DECK!! Not a porch, a legitimate deck. Like, a put a picnic table and grill on it deck!! The best part is that the deck is closed off, and you can only get to it from a door to the inside, so we could let the girls play out there without worrying! It has off street parking!! AND IT'S FIVE MINUTES FROM KEVIN'S WORK!!! It's brand new and perfect, perfect, perfect! Oh, and did I mention CENTRAL AIR CONDITIONING!! :)

I am praying everything comes together and we can get this apartment! However, if it's not God's plan for us right now, I will be ok with that too.

I know that I don't need a laundry room or a dishwasher to be happy. I am going to trust that what is supposed to happen will happen. None the less, I will be waiting on pins and needles for the next few days!

Tolerance

Where did religious tolerance come from? Did Jesus come to say "oh, it's okay, believe what you want!" No. He did come to teach us to love, but he did not come to coddle.

I'm not sure exactly where this train of thought is taking me, but I have been thinking about it a lot lately.

Remember when Jesus found people selling things in the temple? I don't remember him saying, "you know what, if you think it's ok to turn my father's house into a marketplace, go right ahead, we're all entitled to do our own thing."

When Jesus came across people who didn't believe the same thing that he did, I don't recall him having a theological discussion, or compromising.

In Revelation God says that he will spew the lukewarm church out of his mouth. Is there anything more lukewarm than holding the belief that we should tolerate things that the Bible explicitly says are wrong?