This Christmas is was so important for me to make sure my girls didn't get the "gimmies" it's so hard for me to have them asking for things and having an attitude of ungratefulness. Don't they realize how hard their daddy works for everything we have? How can they not SEE how lucky they are? Oh, right, because they're 2 and 3...
However, it occurred to me that it's my responsibility to model that attitude. Too often we get caught up in the small inconveniences. "my husband has to work late..", "I'm having a health issue.",
I get caught up, too. It's easy for me to fall into the trap of feeling bad for myself, especially when a new health issue crops up. (many of you know I have an auto immune disorder similar to lupus that has affected several of my organs) Or when I don't feel the people in my life are living up to MY standards. What a selfish brat I must seem like to the Lord, especially after all he has given to me. So I've made a conscious decision to change myself. I'm going to adopt an attitude of gratefulness, I'm posting reminders around my house of all the things I have to be grateful for. Here is a sample:
My husbands job
For my children (all 3 of them!)
Health insurance
Easy access to healthcare
A roof over my head
Heat
The ability to "run" to the grocery store if we need something
A Lord that extends grace when I'm ungrateful
Monday, December 27, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
A Broken Heart
It's 1am one one of those nights where I can't sleep. For a long time now I have been plagued by a broken heart. My heart is broken for every family who doesn't have a Christmas tree. My heart is broken for every parent who doesn't know where their child's next
meal is coming from. My heart breaks for every family that is close to losing their home.
I've realized that while there are all sorts of agencies to help those in need, there are still a lot of people out there who are judgmental of people who are less fortunate. They assume
that it's people's own mistakes that have gotten them where they are. Let's be honest, who ISN'T a few financial mistakes away from hardship? Is it
our job to judge struggling families,
or is it our job to feed the hungry and clothe the naked, no matter how they got there? I must have missed the part in the Bible that we should first decide who is deserving before we give.
For a long time I prayed for Jesus to show me His heart. Now that I have seen it I'm sure I didn't know what I was asking for.
I hate to cry, I hate for other people
to see me cry. Now everything makes me cry. I cry for people I don't even know! I cry when I see a child with a runny nose and no winter coat. I got a
lump in my throat when I heard of an organization who gives dolls to little girls for Christmas; they had a list of 65 little girls and only 3 dolls.
For some reason this Christmas it's hit me extra hard. I am repulsed by how much I have complained over the past year. We don't have money for this, I don't have time for that. Bottom
line, I am BLESSED beyond belief. I have more then enough.
I've been really challenged in the last
few months about how much is enough. And in the past few weeks I think I've found some answers to that.
My heart breaks for the Lord's people who need help, and I know my heart has been broken for a reason. I'm still trying to figure out where this journey of feeling the need to live simply, and give as much as I can, is leading me. But I am so glad that I'm aware now. So, I thank you, Lord, for this broken heart of mine.
meal is coming from. My heart breaks for every family that is close to losing their home.
I've realized that while there are all sorts of agencies to help those in need, there are still a lot of people out there who are judgmental of people who are less fortunate. They assume
that it's people's own mistakes that have gotten them where they are. Let's be honest, who ISN'T a few financial mistakes away from hardship? Is it
our job to judge struggling families,
or is it our job to feed the hungry and clothe the naked, no matter how they got there? I must have missed the part in the Bible that we should first decide who is deserving before we give.
For a long time I prayed for Jesus to show me His heart. Now that I have seen it I'm sure I didn't know what I was asking for.
I hate to cry, I hate for other people
to see me cry. Now everything makes me cry. I cry for people I don't even know! I cry when I see a child with a runny nose and no winter coat. I got a
lump in my throat when I heard of an organization who gives dolls to little girls for Christmas; they had a list of 65 little girls and only 3 dolls.
For some reason this Christmas it's hit me extra hard. I am repulsed by how much I have complained over the past year. We don't have money for this, I don't have time for that. Bottom
line, I am BLESSED beyond belief. I have more then enough.
I've been really challenged in the last
few months about how much is enough. And in the past few weeks I think I've found some answers to that.
My heart breaks for the Lord's people who need help, and I know my heart has been broken for a reason. I'm still trying to figure out where this journey of feeling the need to live simply, and give as much as I can, is leading me. But I am so glad that I'm aware now. So, I thank you, Lord, for this broken heart of mine.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
A Bittersweet Christmas
I L-O-V-E Christmas. It is absolutely without a doubt my favorite holiday. I think I would have a tree, decorations, and Christmas music playing on the first day I feel a hint of chill in the fall. I love sitting under a blanket with my (now sugar free) hot chocolate reading a book, or just looking at our newly decorated tree. I have always loved Christmas. I think the thing I love best is spending time with family partaking in traditions.
How ironic, then, that I have married one of the biggest Scrooges there is. Christmas music is banned in his presence. The first year we were married he didn't even want a tree! But a few days before Christmas I convinced him. The second year we got one a whole WEEK before Christmas! This year he agreed to a tree in the first week of December, not only that but he drove around Lancaster County for several hours until we found the "perfect" tree. And then shopped for decorations with me! :) I think my Christmas spirit is rubbing off on him.
Or it might be because he knows this is going to be a hard Christmas for us. This Christmas would be our baby girl's first Christmas. (She wasn't due until mid January- but I'll never carry a baby to term.) So when I look at our tree this year and see Korinne and Khloe's "first Christmas" ornaments it's hard.
The other day I was looking at the baby ornaments, thinking there will always be a missing "baby's first" because baby Kiana will never have a first Christmas. Then I realized I CAN get Kiana her own ornament and stocking, because it IS her first Christmas, she's just spending it with Jesus instead of us. And that's the hardest thing for me to swallow.
How ironic, then, that I have married one of the biggest Scrooges there is. Christmas music is banned in his presence. The first year we were married he didn't even want a tree! But a few days before Christmas I convinced him. The second year we got one a whole WEEK before Christmas! This year he agreed to a tree in the first week of December, not only that but he drove around Lancaster County for several hours until we found the "perfect" tree. And then shopped for decorations with me! :) I think my Christmas spirit is rubbing off on him.
Or it might be because he knows this is going to be a hard Christmas for us. This Christmas would be our baby girl's first Christmas. (She wasn't due until mid January- but I'll never carry a baby to term.) So when I look at our tree this year and see Korinne and Khloe's "first Christmas" ornaments it's hard.
The other day I was looking at the baby ornaments, thinking there will always be a missing "baby's first" because baby Kiana will never have a first Christmas. Then I realized I CAN get Kiana her own ornament and stocking, because it IS her first Christmas, she's just spending it with Jesus instead of us. And that's the hardest thing for me to swallow.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
The Ultimate Love
What would Christ be like if he were on earth today? Would we find him worshiping at a large church with dry ice, and a band, selling coffee in the lobby? Would he hang out with rich men?
I've often wondered what it looks like to live in the world, but not to be of the world. So many times I've been told to beware of the "company you keep." now, I'm not a bible scholar, but I don't remember those words coming out of Jesus' mouth. Not only did he hang out with sinners and thieves, but I think he was a genuine friend. He didn't spend time with them and then complain about them to his disciples. He didn't adopt a superior attitude or treat them
in a condescending manor, although he certainly could have.
My Jesus didn't live in a comfortable home, and he lived off the charity of others. (which, ironically, is frowned upon in today's society) My Jesus is the purest kind of love. It hit me last night, as I drove to wal mart at 10:30 at night, in 34 degree weather) that my Jesus wouldn't be in a nice warm SUV, looking forward to returning home, hopping in his bed with flannel sheets, and cracking open a book. He would be outside with the people who needed hope and love; people who needed him. I was convicted about how dependent I have come on my worldly comforts. I want to be more like my Jesus, but I don't know what that looks like right now.
I also realized that my opinion might not be a popular one. After all, Jesus had many parts, and if everyone chose to live like the poor Jesus who hung out with criminals, well, it wouldn't be practical. THAT is when it hit me that Christians are all a part of the BODY of Christ. Maybe each of us sees/is convicted in a different part of Christ. To some of us He's a teacher, and that's what we feel convicted in. To others he's a healer, and that's what we feel convicted to do with our lives. Doesn't that make sense? If each of us understood Jesus in the same way there would be nothing to learn from each other. But quite the opposite is true, I think we can learn so much about the awesome Love that is Jesus if we just take the time to listen.
I've often wondered what it looks like to live in the world, but not to be of the world. So many times I've been told to beware of the "company you keep." now, I'm not a bible scholar, but I don't remember those words coming out of Jesus' mouth. Not only did he hang out with sinners and thieves, but I think he was a genuine friend. He didn't spend time with them and then complain about them to his disciples. He didn't adopt a superior attitude or treat them
in a condescending manor, although he certainly could have.
My Jesus didn't live in a comfortable home, and he lived off the charity of others. (which, ironically, is frowned upon in today's society) My Jesus is the purest kind of love. It hit me last night, as I drove to wal mart at 10:30 at night, in 34 degree weather) that my Jesus wouldn't be in a nice warm SUV, looking forward to returning home, hopping in his bed with flannel sheets, and cracking open a book. He would be outside with the people who needed hope and love; people who needed him. I was convicted about how dependent I have come on my worldly comforts. I want to be more like my Jesus, but I don't know what that looks like right now.
I also realized that my opinion might not be a popular one. After all, Jesus had many parts, and if everyone chose to live like the poor Jesus who hung out with criminals, well, it wouldn't be practical. THAT is when it hit me that Christians are all a part of the BODY of Christ. Maybe each of us sees/is convicted in a different part of Christ. To some of us He's a teacher, and that's what we feel convicted in. To others he's a healer, and that's what we feel convicted to do with our lives. Doesn't that make sense? If each of us understood Jesus in the same way there would be nothing to learn from each other. But quite the opposite is true, I think we can learn so much about the awesome Love that is Jesus if we just take the time to listen.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Pumpkin White Chocolate Chip and Toasted Walnut Muffins
> Lately I've been doing a lot of baking. Especially with pumpkin, I felt the need to convince Kevin that he didn't ONLY like pumpkin in pumpkin pie, and I won. :) Here is one of his favorite recipes. And, yes, I invented this recipe, although I got the idea from
> a friend.
> Pumpkin White Chocolate Chip and Toasted Walnut Muffins
>
> Dry Ingredients
> 1 2/3 c flour
> 1 c granulated sugar
> 1/2 tsp cinnamon
> 2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
> 1 tsp baking soda
> 1/4 tap baking powder
> 1/4 tsp salt
>
> Wet Ingredients
>
> 2 eggs
> 1/2 c melted butter
1 c pumpkin purée
>
> Other
>
> 3/4 c white chocolate chips
> 1/2 c chopped toasted (opt.) walnuts
> (to toast place in a skillet over med high heat until they smell nutty. you can use un toasted)
>
> Mix wet and dry ingredients separately. Add chocolate and nuts to the wet ingredients, and mix. Combine wet and dry, but do not over mix. I don't use my kitchenaid for this, just mix by hand so I don't accidentally over mix the batter.
> Bake in a greased (or use liners) muffin tin at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.
> Delish!
>
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