(verb) to conceal the defects of or to make more attractive, interesting, valuable, etc. Usually in order to deceive.
A lot of people act like they're perfect. They want their outsides to reflect something their insides aren't. The truth is, everyone is a little cracked or
dented; a little nuts sometimes.
So if none of us are perfect, why do so many people pretend to be?
This post might seem a little bit repetitive, but I can't help what's been on my heart lately. I just have this overwhelming feeling of God's desire for Christians to feel like a community. (why, yes, I did go to lmh) But the only way we can grow and support each other is if we're brutally honest.
I'm not going to lie, honesty scares me to death. I'm afraid if I admit how my days truly unfold sometimes I would be labeled a bad mother, or a bad wife. I think those feelings are especially raw to me because I HAVE been labeled as these things before, by people who should have been loving and supporting me. And, upon further review of myself, I have had an extremely difficult time with forgiveness in that situation. But, right now that's neither here nor there.
My challenge to myself is to get to that place of honesty, where it doesn't matter what other people think. A place where my identity is so buried in God's truth I'll be secure regardless what anyone thinks of where I've been, where I am, or where I'm headed.
My truth right now is that I'm on a journey. I've discovered that I have shoved a lot of hurt and a lot of lies about myself into a space somewhere inside me, and Jesus and my pain-space can't exist together. So in the next few months I'm going to be challenged to revisit some not so nice times to improve my mental and soul health. Well, that's part of it. I'm not ready to throw it all out there yet, but I'm confident I'll get there.
I'm so thankful for my husband's kind and gentle encouragement toward growth for me. It's awesome how a time of turmoil has turned out to be so amazing for the growth and deepening of our relationship.
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