Spiritual Warfare

This is a story of something that happened to be about a year ago. I haven't shared it with many people, but I'm hoping that in bringing it to light, I will gain some freedom. 

First, as a little background, the summer after my freshman year in high school, I participated in STAT, a short term missions program through EMM. There was a girl on my team who had been heavily involved in witchcraft, and her immediate family were still practicing witchcraft. 

It has been since that time that I have struggled with spiritual warfare, along with my gift of discernment, and sensitivity toward spiritual things. 

Anyway, about a year ago, when we were still living in Lancaster city, I had a powerful demonic experience. It was early in the morning, and Kevin had left for work, and I was just waking up, and all of a sudden I felt something holding me into my bed, and I saw a physical manifestation of evil beside my bed. Now, I have always had "spiritual dreams" (or nightmares rather) but I had never experienced anything so terrifying. As soon as it was over, I got up, grabbed the girls and left our apartment. 

That night my parents and our pastor and his wife came over and prayed over our apartment. We prayed in every room, and as we were praying, I felt hot and prickly and very afraid. The more we prayed, the worse it got. 

The next day I received some prophecy from a friend of my pastor's aunt, who I have never met, and didn't know much about the situation. She said that the problem was not our apartment, it was me. She said it was a connection I had with someone involved in witchcraft.

That, my friend, is scary. It is scary to be fighting something that is not of this world. 

Last night I was having an intense struggle with my fear, and this morning I woke up with a thought, my fear is not my own. At first I thought it was a ridiculous thing to think, of course a feeling that I'm having is my own! But the more I prayed about it, the more I realized that it was true. I think my fear is a form of spiritual warfare. I think my fear is a spiritual fear, not a worldly emotion. That's why I can't just get over my fear, I have to fight this fear, because this fear is from the devil. 

So today I am praying that tonight, when my fear hits me full force, I will be able to remember what God has shown me in the light of day. Today I am embracing my spiritual sensitivity, and tonight I will fight my fear, because I know I'm not alone.